Interview with Bridget Phetasy
Bridget Phetasy is a comedian and writer.
Curb Your Curb Your Enthusiasm Enthusiasm
Contents
Max Raskin: What’s it like being on Curb Your Enthusiasm?
Bridget Phetasy: It was surreal and fun, and it was a great experience. Everybody's an absolute pro. They were so sweet and nice.
MR: What was Larry David like?
BP: I didn't have very much interaction with him. He was very friendly, but he just shows up, does his scene, and he's not talking to one-line people like myself.
It was hilarious because when I got the lines for that particular episode, I noticed right away that one of the props was a MAGA hat. And it was at this time in my own life and career when a lot of people were starting to accuse me of being right wing…it was a very strange time. My role was a hostess to bring his buddy, Phil Rosenthal, to go meet Larry, where he was sitting with a MAGA hat. And my friend jokingly asked if the director just told me to do what I do online.
MR: So that was totally coincidental?
BP: Yes.
MR: Did that do anything for your career?
BP: The Curb episode?
MR: Yeah.
BP: No. I mean it’s a nice credit…
I moved to LA to become an actress, and my only other credit on IMDb was a promotional video called “Not Making it in the City” where I played “Crazy Roommate.”
That ended up being premonitive. I stopped trying to act, and so I got into standup comedy, and that's how I ended up getting that role. Jeff Garlin submitted me for the role because he's Jeff Garlin.
MR: Are you friends with him?
BP: Yeah — I had opened for him a few times, and I jokingly said one day, “If there’s ever a role…the only thing I ever want to play anymore is a waitress or hostess or something in the restaurant industry, since that's what I did for 15 years in Los Angeles.” And a role came up as this hostess and I got a random call. I thought they were kidding.
MR: What's it like being a waitress in Hollywood?
BP: I didn't mind it. Being a waitress is one of the things that is consistently a similar experience no matter where in the country you are, other than maybe some regional differences.
MR: Did you ever wait for someone famous? Or is it “wait on”?
BP: Oh yeah, all the time. I mean, when you're in Los Angeles, you're always waiting on famous people. That's just part of your job description.
MR: Is that cool or not cool?
BP: It's fine. They're just people. I generally find the lower down the list of celebrity, the higher maintenance and more annoying or rude they are.
AA
MR: Do you meditate?
BP: I do, but not since I had a daughter. My husband had an amazing morning routine until I ruined his life. We both had a great routine meditation practice because we met in recovery.
MR: In drug or alcohol recovery?
BP: Both. But we were in AA. But I always say — I am an alcoholic who used other substances…alcoholically. He’s so disciplined and great, and then we had a daughter and those things kind of get a little in the way.
MR: Have you had a drink since then?
BP: No, I haven't. It'll be 10 years in October, actually. Holy crap.
MR: Do you keep track of it every day?
BP: Yes. I mean now more years, but yes, I've been abstinent.
MR: What's the closest you've gotten to drinking in the 10 years?
BP: Oh, there's been a couple times. The closest was when I was in my first year or sobriety, I was dating a guy and he gave me bedbugs. And so he had them, but he wasn't allergic to them because not everybody is, so he didn't even know that he had them. And then I got them, and it was…I hate even talking about it. I don't even want to invoke these spawns of Satan that will literally outlive the apocalypse. It was hard because I couldn't go anywhere. No one wants you around, obviously. It was the 4th of July weekend, so nobody could come treat it until after the weekend.
MR: Did you actually buy alcohol?
BP: No, I just wanted to. It was the closest I came to really thinking I needed a drink.
MR: And what do you do when you needed to have a drink?
BP: I reached out to my sponsor, but I don't think I even went to meetings because I was too worried that I would infect everyone with bedbugs.
Twitter Therapy
MR: Did you have any healthy addictions in life?
BP: That seems like an oxymoron.
MR: I just met this artist the other day and his art seems like an addiction for him. He's compulsive about it. Did you replace your drinking with something else?
BP: I replaced it with Twitter at first.
MR: So that seems better? That’s creative work.
BP: I don't think it was good for me in the beginning. Now I have a much healthier relationship to it…or maybe I'm just more comfortable with my addiction. A lot of people start running marathons. That's really common in sobriety.
MR: You don't do any of that?
BP: No, unfortunately.
MR: Do you have an exercise routine?
BP: I do, yeah.
MR: What do you do?
BP: I ride a stationary bike and I do a little workout with some of the women in my subscriber community.
MR: That sounds great, no?
BP: Yeah, it's awesome. I love it. And I've gotten to know the women so well and we’ve become good friends and they've become friends with each other. It's really cool.
MR: Is it weird becoming friends with your fans?
BP: Yeah, I guess it's weird because I have a hard time with the term fans. Parasocial relationships are weird. I tend to get to know my “fans” and sometimes they become friends.
MR: Do have stalkers?
BP: None that I know of. I used to a long time ago. I guess those are the ones I worry about, the ones I don't know about. It's always kind of blown me away actually how nice and respectful my following in general has been online and my subscribers are all great. And the nice thing about these paywall places is that if they're not nice…it’s like my house, you don't get to come in if you're going to be rude to me or my other guests.
Rhody
MR: What's the last book you read cover to cover?
BP: Goodnight Moon.
MR: What were your most played songs on Spotify last year?
BP: “Mykonos” by Fleet Foxes, “Song for Zula” by Phosphorescent and “Mine Forever” by Lord Huron. I was listening to a shit load of Lord Huron. I was also listening to a lot of John Prine.
MR: It sounds like you have an accent; where’s it from?
BP: Do I? Nowhere. I moved a lot.
I’m from Minnesota but I also lived in Rhode Island, and I've been in California. But a lot of people think I sound like I'm from Chicago.
I think it's the merging of the East Coast accent with the Midwest accent. So sometimes when I used to drink, I would get very Rhody.
MR: What's Rhody?
BP: Rhode Island, which is where my family's from.
MR: What does that sound like?
BP: It's almost like a Boston accent, but not really. But my husband is like, “If you had that accent, we wouldn't be married.”
Rogan
MR: So you’re living in Austin now? Where did you move from?
BP: Yes — we moved from Los Angeles.
MR: What was the rationale of that move?
BP: We wanted to get a house. I didn't like what was going on in LA. I felt like the governance in California was just…I couldn't get away from it. No matter where we moved in California, even if we had moved to a more affordable town.
MR: Was Rogan part of the reason you moved to Texas?
BP: I do love what he's doing with the comedy scene, and as much as I've been out of standup for a few years, I am eagerly waiting to kind of get back into it as soon as I'm a little more settled here.
MR: Are you tight with him?
MR: Do people try to get to him through you?
BP: Yes, and it is so annoying. I can't tell you how many. I know it before it even happens now. Someone will just randomly out of the blue be like, oh, X, Y, Z's blah, blah, blah, wants to get in touch with you. And I'll be like, if it's about Rogan, tell them no.
MR: Have you ever recommended someone to him?
BP: Yeah, my friends and someone I feel like he would love and have a great conversation. It's less because I'm doing someone a favor and more like sharing someone I love.
One week, there were people who out of the blue asked to get together for coffee. And I fricking saw it coming from miles away. People from my past who will reach out and be like, “Hey, remember me from high school? Well, I have this thing. I'm like, don't ask me to put you in touch with Rogan.” It's just so annoying.
There was even a point where I was like, I'm going to have to change my phone number because of Joe Rogan.
MR: Can you put me in touch with Larry David?
BP: No.
MR: …
Funny People
MR: Do you watch standup comedy today?
BP: I do. I like it.
MR: Who are some people beyond the big names that you’d recommend?
BP: I love Adrienne Iapalucci. I think she's fantastic and so underrated and undiscovered and she's phenomenally brilliant and hits every third rail and does not give an F. I love Kathleen Madigan. I think she's hilarious. She's pretty well known, but she's very much like a touring comics’ comic.
MR: I think everyone has a Saturday Night Live cast that really influenced them — who is yours?
BP: Oh God. It has to be the one with Phil Hartman and Dana Carvey. All I can think about is Carvey because my daughter is obsessed with broccoli, and my husband and I cannot say broccoli without singing the “choppin' broccoli” bit.
MR: What standup comedians had the most impact on you?
BP: Eddie Murphy was the first.
MR: Which special?
BP: I knew Delirious by heart when I was a kid.
Then Chris Rock when I was in rehab at 19, I think it was his Bring the Pain special — I memorized that special in rehab because it was all I could watch and I just loved it. Comedy just kept me so sane in that environment.
MR: Have you ever stolen a joke?
BP: No. I try very hard to credit everybody. Even my podcast Dumpster Fire is so hard because I got accused of stealing a meme once, so I made sure to go and credit them.
MR: What's the first joke that comes to your mind right now?
BP: This bit that I wrote that I love about getting sober in an Irish Catholic family.
MR: Can I find it somewhere online and post to it?
BP: I think I took it down because I want to start doing it again and reworking it.
But basically the general premise is that I got sober and my family gave me a reverse intervention. They were like, “We're worried about you. You're not drinking. What are you…pregnant?”
MR: What's the last show you've binge-watched?
BP: Barry.
MR: And then what movie do you think you've watched the most in your life?
BP: My gut instinct is that Chris Rock special. But Harold and Maude is my favorite movie. I've watched that many, many times. I think it's brilliant. But honestly, it’s probably Tropic Thunder. I watched that movie so many times because I was writing a movie that I wanted to be in a similar tone.
MR: Do you floss?
BP: I do.
Therapist Husband, Not Husband Therapist
MR: Do you have any daily rituals?
BP: Not really. I'm pretty go-with-the flow flexible. But my husband brings me coffee every morning, which is amazing, and I love that ritual.
MR: What does your husband do?
BP: He's a therapist.
MR: What’s it like having a husband for a therapist? Whoops, I mean a therapist for a husband.
BP: It's great. I highly recommend it.
MR: What kind of therapy does he do?
BP: He's a marriage and family therapist. He was working in recovery with primarily men and then teenagers who were in recovery.
MR: Do you talk about his work with him a lot?
BP: No, he doesn't. My husband has really great boundaries, which I guess is good if you're a therapist. He’s very good at closing the door and putting his work behind him, and he never therapizes me, which I appreciate. I know therapize is not a word, but it should be.
He is very self-aware, which is just helpful in any relationship. He knows how to communicate…I don't know that we've ever even raised our voices at one another because we can have calm, healthy conversations with one another.
MR: Do you label yourself politically?
BP: I've labeled myself as politically homeless, as much as that makes everybody infuriated.
MR: But would you say you lean towards being a progressive Democrat, a conservative Republican, or something like that?
BP: I used to be, but I don't feel aligned with anybody.
MR: What did you used to be?
BP: I would say I was a Democrat for most of my life, and they just went a little bit off the rails, even for me being quite liberal.
I would say now there are things that I lean more conservative and there are things I'm more libertarian about and things that I'm more progressive.
MR: Is that an IRS mug?
BP: Oh, it's one of mine. [Holds up mug that says “Defund the IRS”].
MR: You’re like Ron Paul — his was “End the Fed.”
On Writing
MR: Are there any clubs or organizations you’ve been a part of?
BP: I mean, AA doesn't feel like a club, but it feels like it's a group. I think I'm a sober member of Alcoholic Anonymous.
MR: What's the difference between AA and NA?
BP: Junkie pride.
MR: What's that?
BP: There's this feeling of “I'm more hard than you.” There's so many memes about this.
MR: How do you keep track of your memes?
BP: I don't have an organized system. I don't have a folder or anything. I should.
MR: Are you an organized person?
BP: Somewhat, but no. Digitally I'm a mess.
MR: If you could only keep one social media account which would it be?
BP: Twitter.
I love it. It made me, and it will probably break me too. I've tried even the new Threads. I went on it for one minute and I was like…ah, I'm out of here.
MR: Now that you’re trying to get back into standup, are you writing a certain amount each day?
BP: Yeah, I am. I find for me, 10 to 15 minute-increments per bit is the most fun. It gives me enough time to work on it, but not so much time that I'm overthinking it. I'm a writer first, more than a comedian. So sometimes with writing comedy it’s like — save it for your fucking novel, Bridget.
MR: Who are your writing influences?
BP: Joan Didion has become a very big influence.
I read a lot and I just have always been writing. I love David Sedaris.
MR: When you were in high school, who were you reading?
BP: Whoever my teachers made me read.
MR: Were you a class clown?
BP: No, I was actually a good student, but I wasn't reading outside of what we had to read for our curriculum. I was a stoner in high school. I was doing the bare minimum to get by.
MR: Was it like The Departed growing up in Rhode Island?
BP: No.
MR: You're Irish Catholic, right?
BP: Yes.
MR: Both sides of the family?
BP: My mom is French and Italian. My dad is Irish.
MR: Do you like Tim Dillon?
BP: I do. I love Tim.
MR: I have this idea that standup comedians have a hard time with each other’s success…that doesn’t seem the case for you.
BP: Yeah I don’t. I just have always had to really push against the scarcity mentality in the creative fields because I think competition is good. It makes you better, it helps you improve, and it keeps your feet held to the fire. But I don't think the idea that there isn't room for all of us to do in this time and era is crazy. You don't need a huge audience to be successful.